I also see this thinking with our kids. Whether they are millennials or Gen Z, they unconsciously seem to veer towards this risk-averse concept. Today, most teens are not in a relationship; instead, they’d rather have a ‘thing’ and don’t want to be labelled as anyone’s boyfriend or girlfriend. They don’t commit to any field or subject; instead, they leave doors open to many possibilities.

Stephen Covey’s famous large glass jar metaphor comes to mind. When filling the jar, always start with the big rocks, then add the smaller pebbles, grains, sand and finally water, in that order. Do it in a different sequence, and the jar will be half-empty.

I’d forgotten what Dani Shapiro had enshrined in my heart in Still Writing: “The writing life requires courage, patience, persistence, empathy, openness, and the ability to deal with rejection. It requires the willingness to be alone with oneself. To be gentle with oneself. To look at the world without blinders on. To observe and withstand what one sees. To be disciplined, and at the same time, take risks. To be willing to fail—not just once, but again and again.”

James Clear in his article How Willpower Works cites a research study published by the National Academy of Sciences, where psychologists examined the factors that impacted the reasoning behind judges approving parole to criminals.They found in over 1000 cases that judges made decisions not by factors such as the extremity of crimes committed or the behaviour of the criminals in prison, but rather on their own state of mind— whether they were tired or refreshed and most notably the time of the day the hearing was held.

The conversation was getting quite heated now. I was shaking my head and telling my friend that he was utterly wrong. We’d been arguing for a few minutes about the ending of Games of Thrones (GOT) Season Two until he finally got the scene on YouTube and proved I was wrong.

An entrepreneurial friend of mine keeps coming up with great ideas, does the hard work of initiating projects, connecting buyer and seller, but somehow manages to get nothing out of it. Either the deal falls through, or somehow, he doesn’t get his cut. He keeps doing this repeatedly. 

I walked towards Washington square, hoping to glimpse chess masters plying their trade. Unfortunately, there was no one to be seen. I continued my walk towards Union square and to the Strand bookstore. Books have always been a haven for me.

I once had an idea to author a book that would cover the third football season of Manchester United under the tempestuous reign of the Portuguese manager Jose Mourinho while interjecting some of my daily philosophical musings of life. I sat on the idea for a while, wrote some twenty-five pages and then stopped. A few weeks later, the club sacked Mourinho.

Immediately, the post I wrote last week about the fears holding us back to commit quickly came back to haunt me. I felt paralyzed as there were so many things to know about and so much to do. It wasn’t as simple as I thought. I was utterly overwhelmed.

A few weeks ago, I wrote about our constant state of restlessness. However, I felt I needed to delve even deeper this time around as it seems that I’m not alone with my affliction. It is as if we are all suffering collectively from something akin to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. This is not to trivialize what many people living with ADHD go through, but some of the symptoms are similar.

Leadership is not an external act, or a part-time job or something we just do. Whether we are entrepreneurs, engineers, writers or bankers, the leader and person are one. Leadership is who we are being. It is an expression of who we are; it is us in action.

This frenetic activity that leads to nothing purposeful is almost always the start of my period of restlessness. It’s when the outer world, through the deluge of futile information, somehow manages to take over and control my inner mind. It hijacks my attention and messes with my internal value system.

At the end of the event, a woman with a cynical smile approached me and said, “I enjoyed what you said about spirituality. But you’re hypocritical by being a businessman who drove into this place with that nice car and claiming you’re spiritual.” She wagged her finger at me, did not give me a chance to respond and walked away.

Let us say I took up meditation because I had heard on many podcasts how effective it is with all kinds of world-class performers like Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, the late Kobe Bryant, Rick Rubin, Jerry Seinfeld, Clint Eastwood. The list goes on and includes many billionaires. Because of this, I would be expecting that meditation would somehow give me inner peace and patience as a by-product only to make me successful like the above examples. I would quit as soon as the novelty wears off and I realize that meditation had not given me the success that I had imagined.

Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, the director of an 81-year-old study on adult development, states in his famous TED talk that people with healthy relationships live much happier and longer lives. The study focuses on having fewer but deeper longstanding relationships.

Balram believes that the poor can only change and break out of the Rooster Coop if they are willing to sacrifice everything, including attachment to traditional morals and one’s family. However, that’s very rare, and only one in a generation can do that, just like the White Tiger’s rarity.

On Fridays, I do a 30-minute HIIT (high-intensity interval training) cycling session on the Peloton. This typically involves short periods of intense exercise alternated with recovery periods. Usually, it leaves me red in the face, exhausted and feeling miserable throughout the morning.

Self-awareness is, first, observing the thoughts, feelings and desires that often appear in our minds. Second, it is recognizing that we can pause for a second, not allowing that thought, feeling or desire to defeat us.

The reality is that when these moments of adversity happen to us, though many people do not respond, some of us do. However, it takes much longer than seen in the movies. This is because most of us are still fully vested and entrenched in our present lives. We see the need to change but we don’t feel it enough to take action.

I felt that since coming back from holidays they had slackened their efforts. What I said wasn’t nice. They were shocked. But I think I was kind to them in the long-term. The business world is ruthless and when we reduce our efforts slightly, we lose momentum and find ourselves playing catch up.