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Whisper it slowly. I’ll turn 48 this week. It’s true I’m not young anymore but would I want to go back in time? Probably, but only if I can take with me all my experiences and the lessons I’ve learned from life.

There are times, I look in the mirror and see the kid that was determined to conquer the world and other times, especially after a long taxing run when my knees ache badly, or after a rough day at work, I feel every single day of my 17,520 days I’ve lived on this planet.

I find myself in front of the Jardin du Luxembourg. The gardens are spread over many acres. All kinds of flowers bloom in different colors, offering differing scents that urge creativity whenever you breathe. I look around and see people laughing, children playing and lovers kissing. Most of all I see and feel life, and it’s everywhere. No one seems to care that I can’t write.

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However after listening to Patrick Awuah, the founder and president of Ashesi University on how he came to live his purpose, I paused and pondered about this new perspective on purpose. There was now a clarity that I lacked before.

This is when we zero in on the present thing that we are doing, such as watching a sunset, playing with our children or writing poetry where we lose ourselves completely and every minute becomes joyful and soul nourishing. Time just stops and nothing else matters. There is a stillness and a certain form of inner peace engulfs us. We stop talking to the outside world and more importantly we stop listening to our incessant inner voice.

José Mourinho boasts an impressive pedigree during his years as a manager, winning nearly every major European title from the Champions League to Series A to the UEFA Cup, 22 titles in total. He is regarded by a number of players, coaches, and commentators as one of the greatest and most successful managers in the world. He is very charismatic, pragmatic and always carries with him a certain wow factor.

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.- Brené Brown

The end-goal will always be freedom. Freedom to live the way our hearts desire. Freedom to discover who we must become. Freedom to ask why we came into being. Freedom to change our lives and start again, if we are not satisfied.

We tend to lose track of our freedom and get distracted by our fears, circumstances, and the society. We allow the noise around us to drown the whispers that speak of our inner hidden truths.

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I was giving a seminar on the power of the mind. In the end, I was asked if I was able to change my behaviour with the knowledge I had just imparted upon my students. I paused and gave a weak reply. The truth was I hadn’t changed much. This happened almost six years ago. However, all that changed when I watched Brené Brown’s TED Talk The Power Of Vulnerability and when I read her book The Gifts of Imperfections. I instinctively knew that this was the missing piece in the puzzle.

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This love affair with writing has taken me from depressing lows that I can’t wish on anyone to ecstatic new heights. It’s a love story that can rival that of Henry Miller and Anais Nin. My journey started with writing my “Morning Pages” as heralded by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way. I would decipher my dreams and go on to analyze my previous day’s actions and take a deeper look into the fears that were holding me back. It also allowed me to celebrate my wins and constantly reminded me of why I loved myself.

This concept of emotional intelligence was championed by Daniel Goleman, Ph.D., a well-known writer and researcher on leadership who wrote the best-seller Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.

He went on to confirm why many people with a high IQ were outperformed by many with good social intelligence in the workplace, schools and homes. Emotional intelligence is something that is intangible and difficult to measure. It is a road map to achieving the results we want in our life and can lead us to live a fulfilling life.

A journey of self-discovery is also one of self-enquiry, so the more information we gather on ourselves, the clearer we become. When we are looking for a partner, we ask everything about them: from their likes to their dislikes.

We want to know every little detail; what excites them, what puts a smile on their face, what makes them tick.We become curious about the books they read and the movies they watch; we crave to become aquainted with everything that makes them who they are.

The Conscious mind which represents 5% of our mind is the thinking mind, where we think freely and can accept or reject any idea. It gets information from our five senses and is rooted in the present. E.g. When crossing the road, we hear a car approaching, and we immediately stop.

The Subconscious mind is like a super computer stored with a database of programmed behaviours, most of which we acquired between birth and the age of six. Almost 95% of our thoughts, decisions, emotions, and actions are influenced from the programming in our subconscious mind.

In Nikos Kazantzakis’s Zorba the Greek, Zorba was this larger-than-life character who was passionate, fearless and always lived in the moment. He was illiterate and yet ingenious and profoundly more philosophical in his daily teachings than any book or self-help guru could be.

Ego is necessary and important because it defines our sense of self, clarifies our boundaries and develops our personality while protecting our fragile inner self from disappointment, rejection, and other harm caused by society and circumstances around us.

An evening with Mo. Issa has him meet with Ruka Sanusi, the CEO of Allden’s Lane for a powerful conversation on how he shifted from a transactional leader to a transformational leader.

Not infringing on my right to choose, from which country to live in, to which ice-cream flavor I like.

Not pushing me to second-guess my decisions, even though I wasn’t certain the first time round.

Not forcing me to justify my actions, over and over again.