From the archive: I wrote this piece about a year into my padel obsession. I’m sharing it again because its argument still holds for me.
“Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn’t matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don’t think about what you want to be, but what you want to do.”— Richard Feynman
Fall in Love with something that you want to do.
When I came across Feynman’s quote, it immediately buoyed me.
All my passions started with a cool interest in the activity I pursued and gradually grew into something larger. It was never love the first time I did it.
The activity grew into a true passion as I enjoyed it and was challenged to put in the hours.
The Goldilocks principle supports my feelings. It suggests that for something to be successful or optimal, it must strike a balance between two extremes: neither too much nor too little.
Let’s take my writing. On a whim, I started journaling, and when I did start blogging, it was average at best. But I loved expressing myself. I followed my heart and knew I wanted to go deep into the act of writing. I was fascinated by the mechanics, the different writing styles, and the dedication and solitude it required.
I then wrote diligently and consistently for many years, took many writing courses, and read many books as if my life depended on it. It took much toil to become good enough to enjoy my writing and feel good about sharing it while knowing that I still have a lot of room to grow. (Neither too much nor too little)
Let’s also look at my ‘Morning Practice.’
Following Annie Dillard’s wisdom, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives,” I spent a few years tinkering to establish a set of non-negotiables to start my day. (Rising early, Meditation, Reading, Journaling, Writing, and I’d finish with some kind of movement like running or gym work.)
I knew that when I practised them consistently, they filled me with contentment, magic, and a feeling of being enough. They were the culmination of all the work I’d done on myself—all the self-awareness and self-knowledge I gathered—in the past five years.
Following them was not easy. I struggled initially as it meant getting into action, changing my behaviours, and, ultimately, my outcomes. I enjoyed the morning solitude but found the meditation and writing tough.
However, over time, I found that when I got over the first few minutes, I’d get into ‘flow’ and knew that I was priming myself for what I would do for the rest of the day and the rest of my life—I was building small bridges that led to my soul.
Now, let’s talk about my latest obsession: Padel.
What is Padel?
Padel is a racket-based ball sport that blends squash and tennis. It is played in an enclosed space like squash but shares many similarities with tennis—a net in the middle, where players must hit a ball over the net into an opponent's side with their racket. However, in Padel, the court's walls and fences are integral to the game.
Padel is addictive. It is commonly played in doubles and is both physically and tactically demanding. It is also very social; you need four players at all times. Suddenly, everyone becomes a potential padel friend.
A year ago, I wanted to restart tennis after a twenty-five-year hiatus and rekindle the enjoyment I had growing up in England. However, out of the blue, a padel club opened up near my work.
I went through the same process as writing and creating my daily practice. After one try, I was smitten. Slowly, my interest in Padel became an obsession. Now, I play up to four times a week, but I've had to cut back to avoid injury.
Again, the same principles of falling in love with what you do were at play: interest leads to practice, which improves your game, which makes you enjoy it more. However, you still aren't good enough to master it, leaving room for progress. There is always the tension between enjoyment and challenge.
I loved Feynman’s quote because, in reaching Midlife Plus, I know I’ve wasted too much time analysing who I want to be. Instead, I want to lose myself in things I love because I feel that’s the most direct route to becoming who I want to be.
In doing the things we love, we thus become who we must be.